Friday, August 28, 2015

... a dead arm, a bad commute, and fake smiles...

It’s been a long week and I’m not sure where to begin.


Monday. My typical 3-hour one way commute took me about 6 ½ hours when a pedestrian was struck by one of the commuter trains before mine. My first day in my new role of being department chair had me arrive to work at nearly noon. Not exactly how I wanted to start the week especially since the train had to pass the sheet-covered body and because I was emailing back and forth to folks at work I accidentally looked out the window just in time to see the bluish-white arm. Perspective. Better to be on the train than in front of it. 

Dress: I bought a pretty fancy dress from Dress Barn that was on a crazy sale and was pleased that I was able to alter it to be work appropriate by adding a black top over it. Fancy dress converted into a fun work skirt. It was incredibly comfortable too. 
New offices are scary

Tuesday. I moved offices. I guess that means it is official. And my fella gave me presents throughout the week to keep my spirits up since our time together was limited. Here's a picture of Holle Katrina!

Wednesday. Happy pumpkins

Thursday. Missed my first Poe Museum Unhappy Hour of the season… just couldn’t make it there in time.

Friday. Today. Exhausted.
My dad once told me never to go into middle management. They’re the first ones who get let go. In some ways, that’s where I feel I am. It’s different. I am tenured and unless I do something so heinous that it’s inexcusable I can’t be fired. That’s a pretty good position to be in for a job. But it’s also uncomfortable because some have a tendency to throw others under the bus. I pretty much stayed under the bus the entire week until I realized that I can no longer keep the same level of trust and confidence in others. Keep your guide up. It sucks and this is not at all how I want to live my life but it’s only a year. Besides, we gothy girls know a thing or two about putting on a guise and persevering through the toughest of bad situations. This will NOT break me… it will only make me stronger. I’ve determined to make it through the year without complaint. But, please send some light and love because I need it… and the fake smile is hurting my face. I cried twice this week because I feel pretty isolated from my co-workers/friends not to mention feeling overwhelmed. I cry pretty easily. My Work BFF calls me an Empathetic Badass. I haven’t changed but it seems several around me have changed. Fortunately, my Work BFF is in a different department so our relationship hasn’t been altered a bit.  


And to lighten this post, I feel like I had a great outfit week! Here are some of my new dresses. Oddly enough I bought two dresses with color this summer… just because they were awesome dresses. It ended up that I wore them back to back this week because Wednesday was university colors day for our new students. I wore a midnight blue dress. I’ve cropped out a coworker just so you could see the dress. The next day I was running my first department meeting so I wanted to be a bit jazzy while still feeling like myself… and to do that, I rocked my vampire belt buckle that I bought in New Orleans (partly thanks to The Curious Professor Z being an enabler and partly because WHO NEEDS AN ENABLER FOR THIS BABY!) The last time I remember wearing a red dress was in 1996 when I walked in and quit my sucky job. I rarely find the right red. I love wines but red is one that is a bit tricky for me. I felt like a cross between a super hero and a Tim Burton character. My fella said I looked like a Hanna Barbera character ready to solve crime or have an adventure. A friend pointed out that all I needed was a talking animal sidekick. I’ve written it before but the more cartoon character I feel the happier I am.

So there’s my week. I have an exciting day tomorrow since I’m heading to the Yankee Candle Witches Ball in Williamsburg, VA. It’s a flagship store aka it is HUGE! If you go in costume you get a door prize. Those Yankee Candles sales folks won’t even realize that I’m not in costume but I’ll be decked out!

Hope you all had a wonderful week and no one else saw a dead body… just sayin’.

16 comments:

  1. How sad it is that you have to hind behind a mask to survive in the higher tiers of professional works. I would have hoped that grownup tenured professors would be less childish but there goes my believe...

    At least you looked amazing while masking your feelings! I hope that you can survive the next weeks (and this whole year) without crying. Maybe it gets better/easier with time?!

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    1. I should point out that I cry when I'm mad and when I'm overwhelmed. I think it will get better when I learn to ignore some of the "grown up" behavior ;)

      Thanks! I think you're right... it will get easier and better. It will just take time. I'm not always so keen on change in general.

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  2. It`s right when you are in middle management you are on your own, you cop it from below about what the top management are doing, and from above about what the junior staff are doing. Anyway I love that belt buckle. Sending hugs.

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    1. Thanks App'y!

      I love that belt buckle too! :D

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  3. Once you have been in the Chair for a while, it should feel more comfortable. You are already learning the new protocol, which should make each day easier ... fingers crossed for you. Sending you a big hug and a fake smile to use when your gets tired.

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    1. I'll at least know what to expect when I'm in the role for a while.

      Thank you! In the next few weeks we'll need to work out that meeting-in-Fredericksburg-dinner-date!

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  4. I am sorry the job sounds so hard! Sending love!

    The red dress is amazing, I am thinking of adding more red into my outfits after being inspired by a fashion blogger with a lot of red, white and black combinations.

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    1. I'm so picky about red but this one was beautiful and just called me. Thank you!

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  5. It starting a new job, even it's a new position within the same place. Sorry, to hear you've had a crappy first week. I understand how your feeling I've started a new job they amount work and stressed me to the point of wanting to cry and quit. Fortunately, I have a wonderful manager whose allowed me catch with the admin from home which has so helpful. Sorry talking way too much about me again. Anyway good luck with the new position, it may just take time to find your way, and on a positive note you can't be fired, especially in this job market can't be bad.

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    1. The good news is that the second week hasn't been so bad at all. I'm back teaching which is what I really love.

      You're not talking too much about you. I always think of the comment section is a way to interact with my friends in the blogosphere. Doesn't my blog have enough about Me, Me, Me ;P

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  6. Sorry your first week was awful. :( But you looked fabulous! Love all the outfits.

    Maybe you can occasionally substitute an authentic baring of teeth for a fake smile. ;)

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    1. Ooooh, I'll have to add the baring of teeth to my bag of tricks...which also includes bitchy resting face :p

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  7. Those outfits are gorgeous! And I think it is great that you have a big heart and that you can trust people. If they are not worthy of it, crush them! :D In a subtle & office-suitable way, of course. ^__^

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    1. Thank you...and I WILL CRUSH THEM!!!! :p

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  8. I just have to say, I think you look absolutely bootiful in all of those pictures. beautiful with a little boo in there! :) I just love you. And your awesome smile! <3 The red looks lovely on you. And I just know you are going to rock this job like nobodies business. *HUGS* *good thoughts* *many prayers*. all of it! Love you!

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