...a caretaker of the right-for-me details...

“Life is too short for you

to be the caretaker

of the wrong details.”
   ~Alexandra Stoddard

When I graduated from undergraduate 25 years ago, my high school English teacher with whom I am still in touch gifted me a copy of Alexandra Stoddard’s Living a Beautiful Life: 500 Ways to Add Elegance, Order, Beauty, and Joy to Every Day of Your Life (1986). Stoddard cites the great authors to show how attention to detail is key in living a beautiful life. Stoddard who is an interior designer has a much different aesthetic than I have; however, her emphasis on rituals and even her “grace notes” such as “lift your mood with a new fragrance” and “have a special basket for the mail. It looks pretty, and it’s fun to bring into the living room or library, to open at leisure” have stayed with me over the years. Her writing focuses on transforming space to make it something that one can live within. It doesn’t require money or status. It’s simply living what one considers a beautiful life. I've been thinking about that a great deal lately.

And, I’ve been making many changes—some small such as changing out my old closet doorknob that has never been to my taste with a new black crystal one. I’ve also been doing some bigger changes in the yard by digging up, dividing and replanting iris bulbs and daylilies. I even moved the canna that was trapped under the hibiscus to brighter spaces where they have room to grow. I’ve had a good amount of nervous energy lately and limited time since the clock is ticking down the days until I return to my in-person work-life.

For the next two weeks, my bathroom is being renovated. I’ve saved for it for quite some time and even had the tiles in our garage since last October. Our contractor scheduled us beginning tomorrow and concluding on Friday the 13^th!

I don’t want to say that I’ve hated this bathroom for three years because it was someone’s dream and choice; and likely the woman who picked this magnolia tile planted a garden here and had a say in the red brick path we unearthed and love. It isn’t to my taste and I look forward to big changes but I’m blessing the old choices as they leave this home. Maybe I’ll even keep a magnolia tile and plant it in the garden.

My designer glitter grout won’t arrive in time even though I ordered it weeks in advance of its estimated delivery date so we’re going with my pre-awareness-of-black-glitter-grout-plan. And per my fabulous contractor, the quality of glitter grout is somewhat questionable. He broke it to me gently and he is the one who had the idea to make the capstone of my shed into a coffin shape so I do trust him.

This weekend I had to go to two paint locations to find the paint I needed. Each store had only one and their response was that I was lucky. Everything is delayed and out of stock, and has been for a while. But for me, it’s finally coming together! This little toiletries-bag, the pumpkin, will be my best buddy for two weeks as I am sharing my fella’s bathroom, which I acknowledge we are fortunate enough to have two baths so this renovation is all very doable with little interruption.  

...tree magic, murder, and rising from the dirt...

As long as I can remember, I have loved trees. One of my favorite ornamental trees is the Lagerstroemia, commonly known as the crape myrtle or crepe myrtle. These are popular trees in the American South. 

Ebony & Ivory Crape Myrtle

As the story goes, as they made their way from China and arrived in England in 1759, they were met with lackluster enthusiasm for the crape myrtles would not bloom. It seems that England just isn’t hot enough to get crape myrtles to bloom; but, the American South is.

The botanist to King Louis XVI André Michaux introduced the crape myrtle into Charleston around 1786, and the tree exploded in blooms. Crape myrtles love heat and they love humidity. They grow quickly and they’re even tolerant to drought. While some of our other Southern bloomers like the gardenia and azalea require acidic soil, crape myrtles don’t seem to care what they’re given. Clearly they were a hit in Charleston and Southerners gossip so they ended up all across the South after that.

Crape myrtles need to be cut back annually to allow for new growth and blooms for the next year. How much these need to be cut back is up for debate and Southerners are quit opinionated. One of our neighbors cuts his down to little stumps. That happens to trees on public lots as well. Many people call this “crape murder” and I happen to agree with them. No one needs to cut back a tree to that extreme so that other trees make fun of them in the winter. Seriously!

Illegally planted Crape Myrtle in 2015 wasn't receiving much sunlight

This, of course, leads to my own crape myrtle experience. In August 2011, I planted a Red Dynamite crape myrtle on our property at the old house, the townhome with the HOA (Home Owners Association), which promptly sent me a nasti-gram reading that I could not have a tree. There were no rules or regulations in our HOA paperwork about not having trees on our property but I obeyed and dug up the tree. Well, I sort of obeyed. I knew that a Red Dynamite Crape Myrtle, which grows to about 20' x 20', would grow too large for our wee backyard so instead I moved it to the common area. That was my illegal move but the community president did always talk about having trees. He just wanted to be the one who picked them.

The little tree is growing! Near the Ebony & Ivory crape myrtle

a few inches tall when transplanted in July 2018

I’m a girl who follows rules so let me explain that this was a bit out of character for me but I loved the Red Dynamite so much. And, because I lived on the end unit, I had become responsible for watering the community trees if they were going to be watered at all. I figured if I was the one taking care of the others, what would it matter if one more pretty tree was added to the mix. That isn't the best logic but that's what I did. Unfortunately, it turned out that that community area's trees outgrew the tiny crape myrtle and for much of his time he did not receive enough sun.

2018 a few months after he was transplanted he started growing like mad!

Last week! Go Red Dynamite Go!

The landscapers also repeatedly cut down the crape myrtle thinking he was a weed. That little tree was spunky and he just kept growing back. The weedwacking continued to happen all the way up until last year when we bought our current home. Just days before I planned to move him, the landscapers cut him down to inches. I was so angry then but now I'm delighted because he made it.

From the pictures, you can see that he was just a few inches high. My fella did not believe he would make it but trees are magic and I believed. He grew and he grew and within one year he is nearly 6 feet tall! Mind you, he’s an 8-year-old tree who had some pretty good roots since I always watered him.

I think we can learn so much from crape myrtles—how to keep going in adversity; how to look stunning even on 100-degree days with high humidity; how to be a little exotic but thrive where you're planted; how to be low maintenance; and, how to keep growing even when cut back. In fact, crape myrtles grow because they’re cut back. I guess I wouldn’t mind being a crape myrtle. 

Crape myrtles are like people in that they come in a variety of shapes, sizes, and colors. While the Red Dynamite may be considered more of a traditional crape myrtle, there are numerous dark and spooky crape myrtles including the Ebony & Ivory crape myrtle, which only grows to about 10'x 8' and includes bright white blooms against black foliage. I have the Ebony & Ivory tree planted near the Red Dynamite in the perennial hibiscus garden. One day they will grow to the point of having their blooms touch one another (and further block the view of the neighbor's house). 

Recently I added a Magic Midnight crape myrtle, which will grow 4-6 ft tall in our front yard. This is a smaller crape myrtle that has purple-maroonish foliage and bright hot pink blooms. That tree is pictured at the very top beside the quote for this post. 

Crape myrtles are great tree friends and I look forward to having them for many years to come.