Thursday, November 19, 2015

...moms, spiders, and a widowmaker...



I’ve been thinking of my grandma a lot lately. 

It’s a bit odd since she died when I was in fifth grade. We were closer than many granddaughters are with their grandmothers. I had the luxury of my grandparents living about 30 minutes away. Each and every Sunday of my youth was spent at my grandparent’s farm. She was the absolute center of our family, the one who kept us all together. She was an amazing cook. No wonder I’m vegetarian; no one would be able to make corn beef like my grandmother. No one!

I think about her from time to time because I often wear her wedding diamond that I had reset a few years back. I’m named after her although I never hear that name unless I’m in trouble and my mother uses my first and middle name. 
I look just like her. When I shared this picture of my grandparents (Louise & Porter) in the summer of 1938, I’ve received responses that it’s me and that I’m immortal. She was 22 in this picture. She was only 69 when she passed away. The thing I remember most is her smile. I no longer recall the sound of her voice. I hardly recall her in the kitchen. But, I remember that smile.

This week has been very troubling. My fella’s mom has a widowmaker heart attack. Per the doctor, only half of those who have this type of heart attack survive.  My fella is stoic and calm; I’ve been bawling my eyes out. Moms are supposed to live forever…even when families are dysfunctional, even when they make you nuts, even when (fill in the blank). I know several of my readers have lost their mothers/ mommies/ mums/ mummas. I CANNOT imagine it…so I cry.

Yesterday I spent most of the day in the ICU with my fella, his sister, and his mom. I didn’t cry in front of her. Okay, maybe a little bit but that was only because she was able to talk and I started asking questions about her late husband (my fella’s father) and even her mother who lived to 100 years 6 months. That’s the norm in my fella’s mom’s family. She, in fact, is the baby at 82. Her siblings are 84, 86 , and 92 (I believe I have that right). She talked about her mother who, in the end, died from cancer at 100 yrs and 6 months. She asked her mom, “Mumma, how does it feel to have cancer in you?” Her mother responded, “Honey, I’ve got to die from something.” My fella’s mom followed up by saying, “Mumma taught me how to live and she also taught me how to die”… but not just yet please.

My fella’s mom came from a rural area of Tennessee… but oh the places she has gone and oh what she has seen. She has been to every continent except Antarctica and that’s only because a few years back her trip was scheduled and there was an accident so the tour company canceled her trip. Several years back, she told me that if her husband hadn’t died she probably would have never traveled the world. He wanted her to do these things. That reminds me so much of the end of the movie Titanic when we get to see Rose’s life in pictures.  Here is my fella’s mom lying in the ICU with a weak and fragile body… but there’s still that spirit!

Did I mention that she called 911 herself? And because she’s of the generation that one must be wearing clean clothing, she changed her clothing in the middle of having a heart attack! Oy.

Widowmaker... she's already a widow! Here is a video of one of my favorite Christmas presents from her a few years ago.  A Christmas tarantula... you got to love that.

 
She's one of the only ones who remembers the story of my last name and its connection to spiders.

It’s hard to wrap my head around her future adventures because this hospital with this ICU is where my grandmother passed away when I was little. I can still point to the window of the room where it all happened.

Hospitals are scary and sad places. I do not care for them at all. Mothers/ mommies/ mums/ mummas should not be there :'(

21 comments:

  1. Oh Sharon. Moms ... so many Moms. :( Now I'm crying my eyes out. All I can say is that I love you and I'm here for you.

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    1. I know. I would have sent you a text but it's been crazy hectic (no cell phones in the ICU) and, well, the subject matter is very close to your heart.

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    2. Boy, is it ever. Please tell Mr. Fella that I'm sending him and his Momma love and healing. It's all about attitude, and from what you've said, your Momma-in-law has spunk. May her spunk and her will put her on the survivor's side of the statistics.

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  2. Sending love and hugs. What an amazing life and legacy, I'm so glad you got to hear about it from her.

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  3. Remember, most people who have widow maker heart attacks aren't talking to family in ICU. Our daughter the medic has run at least two calls like this that I know of where the patient survived.

    Breath in, breathe out, lather, rinse, repeat. Love you and I wish that I was there for you this week.

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  4. You're SO right, mothers are supposed to live forever, at HOME, not in hospitals! But they don't always do what they are supposed to do... sort of like their children. Tons of love and hugs to you both, and you KNOW I understand. So glad she is awake and aware and surviving!!

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    1. Thanks Lucretia. We're very lucky that she is surviving so much that my husband said that she's being annoying again :) Back to the routine! Seriously, she's moving out of the ICU today and into a regular room. Very good news.

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  5. I could have written that part about your grandmother, myself. I was 13 when my grandmommy died. She was my everything. I'll keep you and your fella and his mumma in my thoughts and prayers.
    blessings
    ~*~

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    1. Thanks Laura. I appreciate that. We're fortunate that his mom is moving out of the ICU and into a regular room today.

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  6. I hope she recovers, and strength to all of you! I could not read this without tears.

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    1. Thanks Jade. Sorry to make you cry :( His mom is moving out of the ICU and into a regular room today so that's good news.

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  7. I do hope your fella's mom pulls through. Best wishes!

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    1. Thanks! She is moving out of the ICU and into a regular room today so fingers crossed she keeps fighting the good fight.

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  8. Grandparents are special I hope my grandkids will think that of me in years to come. I wish you and all "all the best."

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    1. Thanks App'y. I'm sure your grandkids adore you!

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  9. Sending love and hugs. I hope she gets better and goes on to live a long healthy live. Mums are supposed to live forever!

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  10. Your fella's mother and your grandmother both sound like lovely ladies! Sending healing vibes to you and your family, and thank you for this thoughtful post..

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    1. Thank you for the kind words and the sentiment. I appreciate it :)

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