Sunday, May 10, 2015

..."the holiest thing alive," writes Coleridge…



There is no velvet so soft as a mother's lap, no rose as lovely as her smile, no path so flowery as that imprinted with her footsteps.
~ Archibald Thompson

Mother's Day dress by Enz's
I am not a mother nor did I ever wish to be one but today I received three messages wishing me a happy Mother’s Day. The first was from a colleague who wished a Happy Mother's Day “to those who nurture, be it of the body or the heart.” The second was from a student who said that I was more a mother to her than her biological one. And finally, I received a text from my best friend who is more of a sister who said that “there have been many times [I] have been like a mother to [her].”

While I never wanted any biological children, I tend to be a nurturer by personality. I naturally find myself caring for others. Because of this, I have often heard that I would make a good mother. The truth is I’m often mothering other mothers’ children just by the nature of my job and that fact that many of my students’ parents have never learned how to communicate with their children. This won’t make much sense unless you understand my job. As a professor at a university for Deaf students, many of my students’ parents never learned American Sign Language. I have Meniere’s Disease which is an inner ear disorder that causes vertigo (yep, I have it severely some days and mildly others); tinnitus (i.e. ringing in the ears)… hey, do you hear that? Never mind, it’s me not you; and, fluctuating hearing loss… some days I say “What? What? What?” while other days I hear just fine. I was diagnosed at 15. At 23, Mom noticed that I wasn’t always hearing her (or listening? I still argue it was selective hearing loss) and SHE forced us (or suggested) that we take a sign language class. I had never met a real deaf person. There was a pain-in-the-ass hard of hearing guy in my high school but I think he would have been a pain-in-the-add hearing dude still so I can’t really transfer my feelings about him to anyone else except other pain-in-the-ass people… but I digress. Mom said we should take a sign language class and we did; it changed my life so by virtue of transference, she changed my life. My mother has always changed my life. I’m a big ol’ Daddy’s girl to the point of worship… but my mother, she is my breath. She attended every Girl Scouts function, every band function, every Tae Kwon Do tournament… she gave up her entire life for her children. She also held me in the hospital when I was just a toddler going through major kidney surgery (Freak Factor aside: I was born with one mutant kidney). She still cries when she tells the story of the doctor explaining that I had to drink dye so that they could do an x-ray. Apparently, it was called a Dye Test. A toddler me looked up to my mother and said, “I don’t want to die.”
Brunch...my father tried to avoid being in the picture.


My mother is creative and amazing. She’s also incredibly nuts… thankfully, it’s usually the fun kind. I’m not going to throw around psychiatric terms because that isn’t the point of this post. She’s fun and she loves me. She’s fun and I love her. Today when I getting ready for Mother's Day brunch, she calls to tell my fella and me about traffic. At that point, I’m getting dressed. I ask, "Momma, should I wear a subtle belt or my new vampire belt to brunch?" She responds in a way that reminds me that God got it right when she put us together. "I think the vampire belt would be nice.”

Jamberry nail wrap fun (e.g. nurturing myself)
Mother’s Day is about thanking our Mothers whether they are our biological ones or our chosen ones. It’s about celebrating the type of mother we all whether it is to human children, furry children, or even to those around us. It can also be a time to thank Mother Earth for all that she provides including today’s beautiful flowers.
Happy Mother’s Day to you all!  

9 comments:

  1. What a great post!! My mom doesn't understand my love of skulls, skeletons, bats, etc., but at least she doesn't criticize, either! The only thing she's ever said was, "Do you have ANYthing that doesn't have skulls on it?" ;-)

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    1. Thanks! Don't get me wrong, when I was 15 my mom decided once that I wasn't allowed to buy anything black during our back-to-school shopping. When I made colors look weird, she gave in :p

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  2. I love this post. I come from a family who is hard of hearing. My mom, my sister, my uncle and my niece have to wear hearing aids but they don't. As a result, I am a loud talker lol! My niece, was only 3 when my sister realized it. She had to go to a special school (called the Montreal Oral School - which makes me laugh to this day because of the name!) and she got hearing aids. They both never learned ASL and I think that is sad. I also think it is sad that moms to children who are hearing impaired dont bother learning it.

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    1. I could get on a soapbox about this. Before Higher Edu, I was a high school teacher (and a middle school teacher one year...oy! All boys!). I had a 14 year old transfer from another school system because he had stabbed his teacher. When he arrived, he came without any language (read that as he could hardly write his name and didn't quite know what it meant). Of course he had anger issues! In the Deaf Edu program he was in, they had little expectations so he basically sat in a corner and colored which turned out to be one of the best ways for us to communicate. I remember asking his mother how she knew what he wanted to eat. She said, "he'll point". And suppose you don't have it in the house? "He screams and punches things". That guy turned out to be one of the sweetest students I ever had. I had to interpret for him mom during his graduation party... the best part is that he was introducing his girlfriend to me, not his mom. (steps down off of soapbox... I really was trying not to rant but I guess I could go on and on).

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  3. Cute look!
    http://retro-electric.blogspot.com

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  4. Wonderful to hear how much you mean to your students! And i love your mum!

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