... putting it out there ~ Bat Fit 2015...

When I originally wrote out my 2014 goals in the beginning of June 2014, I had no idea how LIFE would affect my big plans.  Here’s a refresher:

My Goals for Bat Fit 2014:

1. By January 2014, I will lose the weight that I have gained since beginning my job in 2006. My goal is to lose 25 pounds by the end of the year. (( FOLLOW UP: Well, I lost ten lbs. and then I gained the weight back so I’m no heavier than I was when I originally started this but there have been a few changes. When I took a mini-vacation in July, I shared that it was the first time that I could remember wearing a tank top in public. I have been self-conscious of my arms as long as I can remember. When I joined Professor Z’s Bat fit and read her post which addresses fat shaming (along with a few other posts in the Facebook group), I started to realize that no one cares about my arms except me. It was a HOT day and my outfit was super cute so why did I really need a shrug to cover up my arms. They aren’t hideous. Small children do not flee when they see them. And of course, my fella only noticed that I was wearing something different. He thought I looked pretty, and I liked my outfit. Actually I felt strong! Something about wearing the tank top made me feel tough and confident. It was the weirdest feeling and the best surprise. Since this time, my fella has noted that whenever I am wearing a tank top, folks best get out of my way because my feisty side comes out. No complaints there. AND, since I wasn’t liking how my clothes fit and I needed new clothes anyway, I went ahead and bought them… a size larger *shrug*.  When wearing clothes that actually fit, I look better and feel better about myself. If I end up losing the weight, I’ll donate the clothes and buy more. ))
2. I will practice portion control. I’ll pull out my old Weight Watcher At Home books and follow them. One of the helpful features of this is that I will be tracking what I consume. I’m an emotional eater so sometimes a bite here and there doesn’t seem like a big deal but it adds up. I need to stop skipping breakfast and I’m oddly intrigued by the idea of eating soup for breakfast. ((FOLLOW UP: I pulled it out and then put it away. There was a great deal of stress around my fella’s burst pipes and us changing our wedding date so I figured why stress myself even more. I did, however, try out soup for breakfast and it was a hit!))
3. Now that I will be giving cemetery tours, I will be walking much more regularly. I’ll also be able to commit to daily walks this since I will be on sabbatical until January and do not have the extreme commute hanging over my head. ((FOLLOW UP: I have certainly walked MORE but I haven’t made a daily routine out of walking. I walked a little over 4 miles just before writing this post and I walked 4 miles yesterday. I started giving walking tours which are about 2 miles. Overall, I enjoy walking. It’s my moving meditation in many ways. I’m going to be honest with myself. It’s going to be hard in the New Year because I go back to work which means I leave the house around 5:30am and arrive home around 7ish. I’m be commuting both ways in the dark. My big goal for 2015 is to make sure that I get enough sleep. Since bedtime is around 9pm at the latest, I’m pretty sure I won’t be walking much on commuting days. I will on the weekends and during my research day working from home. That means that I will try to find one evening where I can at least walk before bed.))
4. I will keep my personal journal. ((Yeah, that just didn’t happen))
5. I will limit my alcohol consumption. I’ve gotten into the habit of having mixed drinks almost nightly and that just isn’t a good health practice. ((I still drink but certainly not nightly. I realized that this wasn’t as much of an issue as I worried it might be. I don’t get addicted to things… even good things… very easily and have a difficult time forming habits. In moderation.))

Update: 

My sabbatical went really well. I have about a 200-page draft that will be submitted as a draft to a publisher next week. It’s a research type of book based on the work that I’ve continued since my originally dissertation research was published in 2007.  

I got married and everything *sigh of relief* seems to have fallen/ been put into place. There are still the struggles and negotiations of living with someone (and his cat :p ) but overall we’re all getting along just find.

In October I posted about books as our guides and discussed my experience with Sarah Ban Breathnach’s Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy (1995). The October 9^th passage really resonates with me so I’ve decided to use the list with a bit of commentary as my guide for Bat Fit 2015.

“Is there a woman alive who doesn't suffer from stress? If there is, seek her out, ask her to share her wisdom. When you find her, I'd be willing to bet she'll offer the following suggestions”:

(Below are Breathnach’s suggestions with my commentary inside the **  ** )

• Cultivate gratitude.  
• Carve out an hour a day for solitude. ** my train commute brings a new meaning to moving mediation** 
• Begin and end the day with prayer, meditation, reflection. 
• Keep it simple. 
• Keep your house picked up. **Always have but now I live with a husband and his cat** 
• Don't overschedule. **Um, I’m in academia :-/ ** 
• Strive for realistic deadlines. **See above about academia **  
• Never make a promise you can't keep. **I’ve been divorced twice so this makes me chuckle** 
• Allow an extra half hour for everything you do. **Especially commuting!** 
• Create quiet surroundings at home and at work. **Hmm, I’m actually quite good at ignoring noise but I’m going to interpret this into time to focus on me **  
• Go to bed at nine o'clock twice a week. **Have I mentioned that I get up at 4:30am… my goal is to go to bed by 8:30pm some nights** 
• Always carry around something interesting to read. **and a journal!** 
• Breathe- deeply and often. **good idea** 
• Move- walk, dance, run; find a sport you enjoy. **walk cemeteries!** 
• Drink pure spring water. Lots of it. **Sure, this I can do. Plus, soda water is my favorite** 
• Eat only when hungry. **Better yet, stop when full. It would be wiser for me to regulate because if I wait until I’m hungry, I’m usually starving and then I overeat **  
• If it's not delicious, don't eat it. **Amen!**
  Be instead of do. ** My therapist taught this to me in 2009. I’m been practicing BEING ever since** 
• Set aside one day a week for rest and renewal.  
• Laugh more often. ** Not possible :D ** 
• Luxuriate in your senses.  
• Always opt for comfort. **Um, or STYLE!** 
• If you don't love it, live without it. **Sure** 
• Let Mother Nature nurture.  
• Don't answer the telephone during dinner. ** I don’t**  
• Stop trying to please everybody.** Hmmm, I could work on this for sure** 
• Start pleasing yourself. 
• Stay away from negative people. **Oh boy… hmmm, I’ll try** 
• Don't squander precious resources: time, creative energy, emotion. ** Read this as Restrict FB feed and reduce random internet browsing** 
• Nurture friendships. **!!!** 
• Don't be afraid of your passion.  
• Approach problems as challenges. 
• Honor your aspirations. 
• Set achievable goals. 
• Surrender expectations. 
• Savor beauty. 
• Create boundaries. **!!!** 
• For every "yes", let there be a "no".**!!! This is an ongoing practice** 
• Don't worry; be happy. 
• Remember, happiness is a living emotion. 
• Exchange security for serenity. 
• Care for your soul. 
• Cherish your dreams. 
• Express love every day. **yep** 
• Search for your authentic self until you find her. **Here she is!**

Other things to consider:

• I also joined a Horror Book club in the area to cultivate some friendships and to nourish that book lover camaraderie need.
• I used to attend weekly Mass with my dad until I moved further away. I’d like to return to this even if weekly attendance isn’t possible. I’m still reflecting on this—is it for him? Is this for me? Is this for both of us?