“We
must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is
waiting for us.”
―
Joseph Campbell
I
have this quote posted on my office door at work and I find that in life I come
back to it again and again. It resonates. I could simply write that it’s been a
hectic week but that wouldn’t do justice. 
It
isn’t a long story really. My fella had burst pipes which led to some mold. He
has a 13-year-old cat that has only lived in one house. To clean the mold,
living things must leave. Well, they didn’t say that. They said, “It will be
fine”. But we’re smart people and if you can’t drink it safely, we don’t want
it near our loved ones. My late best friend was a 13 year old Doberman. From
where I sit, I can look up to his urn of ashes. He came to me as a surprise
too. I’m trying to remember that. I would have moved him out too. So they moved
into my house that is already full. They were supposed to come in December, a
nice transition. It didn’t work that way. Along with tangible stuff, I have
baggage from failed marriages (that’s right, a plural form) and I have loved
every minute of living alone. I’m the kind of girl who can happily dine in a
restaurant with a book. I can walk through a crowd and feel the energy but come
home and be alone… never lonely. Change has always been scary for me. It’s scary and fast, but not really because we've been together for five years. Our styles don't really mesh but it’s
all just stuff! I know that. I have made a
garden. I have made a life. All the wedding/marriage language about two halves
becoming whole makes me want to vomit. I read The Missing Piece by Shel Silverstein. I’m already PacMan whole y’all! But this is
all society and my fella IS amazing. This has certainly been a week of figuring out everything! 
But the flowers are blooming in my backyard... I've cut the grass (what is with the mosquitoes this year! Geez! 6 bites within minutes!) and my fella brought home the Martha Stewart Living issue which has the Halloween issue inside. I have much to do to organize and catch up on. I suppose to should get with it but I really want to thumb through some Halloween.
Change is never easy and I had the similar thing happen to me when I moved in with my husband when we got engaged. Like you, I am comfortable being alone so we made concessions. I take a bath or I go in another room. It helps. We also moved to a bigger apartment last year because with the three of us, we were cramped and the arguing started. You will get used to it. Hang in there
ReplyDeleteThanks. It will be a full week tomorrow so it's just so new.
DeleteA stressful situation, no doubt. But it sounds like things are generally going in the way you wanted, just on an accelerated timeline. Good luck! :)
ReplyDeleteThe "two halves" thing is absolutely vomit inducing. I'm already a whole person, thankyouverymuch! :P If I ever get married, my spouse will just have to buy the house next door. ;)
Funny you say that... Our original plan was a duplex :D
DeleteThat quote from Joseph Campbell is a great quote and I think you are a really strong and amazing person to actually live by it. It is sad that our society forces upon the stereotype everybody wants the "matching half to be whole". People usually want to be happy and content but the things that make one happy and content can be rather different things one imagines they ought to be. :)
ReplyDeleteThat is a great inspiring quote. Writing it down.
ReplyDeleteAt least your home is established and you have all the things you want. Now to just negotiate little ways to let him have his own space. Shame you couldn't build an extension, ha ha. I bet the cat will love the garden. Breathe deep and try to take it easy!
I could NEVER live alone because at night I get scared about monsters and serial killers. I wish I was joking!
It sounds like you found a great guy, doesn't matter how many tries it takes if he is worth it! :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm on my third marriage (hey, three times is the charm, right?), and I have learned that I MUST HAVE my own space that I can retreat to when I need/want to. So one of our three bedrooms is MINE; I don't sleep there, but it's mine. This has enabled me to live for 14 good years through football season, basketball season, baseball season, the Olympics (both summer and winter), and myriad gory documentaries on WWII that otherwise would have driven me postal. While he doesn't really understand WHY I need to be alone so much, he understands that I DO. If your buy is the same, or similar, you will be able to work it out.