...R.L.Stine's MasterClass, HOAs, and whirligigs...

When you scroll down the side of this blog and see the number of posts per year, you will notice that I have not been writing as many blog posts for the last two years. In August 2016, I decided that after ten years in my position as an English professor, it was time for me to go back to graduate school for Public History. Why? Because it sounded terribly fun. I tried to keep up with posts but it was challenging. So here we are, nearly two years later with me having just graduated from the program (Yay Me!) and ready to return to my (newly improved) ol’ spooky life of writing for work and for this blog.

Many aspects of my life have changed but I will get to that slowly. For now, I’m ready to have a little fun (in addition to teaching a summer school course on cemeteries).

In April, I saw an article online about R.L. Stine’s MasterClass for teaching how to write for adolescents. Since I teach Adolescent Literature ( ß this is such a bogus excuse), I figured that I should take the course as a little professional development.

Founded in 2015, MasterClass began with the notion that everyone should have "access to genius." The online education platform provides affordable, if you can afford the $90 fee for one session or $180 annually for all-access, engaging, and inspirational online classes taught by world-renowned instructors, which arguably makes it possible for nearly anyone to learn from the best.

As a little I-graduated-and-won’t-be-throwing-money-at-school-for-the-time-being gift to myself, I enrolled in the online course, which comes with 28 video lessons with R.L. Stine teaching along with a 60+ page workbook including assignments, prompts, and recommended reading.

The first module was a course introduction that basically tells you that all the woo woo “write from the heart” messages is a bunch of hooey. Instead, he advises us to embrace storytelling. Remember when you were a kid at the sleepover and you sat around with your friends telling ghost stories? Yeah, I miss that too. Well, Bob, (that’s what we are to call him) reminds us that we are wired to tell stories and so we should!

The second module, The Idea Store, is the first actual lesson per se. Bob discusses how he became a writer and where he gets his ideas. I think the meat of the lesson is the “idea store” but what really struck a cord with me was his statement about not fitting in. He shares that as a kid he never felt like he belonged no matter how hard he tried. This struck me because one of my recent life changes that I had not planned to mention is that my fella and I are buying a house. Nearly a month ago we were ready to go under contract with a house that we liked but that was in a neighborhood with a Home Owners Association (HOA). For the record, I am against them having lived in a community with one and even being a Board member of one. BUT, I was convinced by my fella and realtor that all HOAs are not evil.

An hour before we were ready to sign all the paperwork, we decided to drop by the sales office to ask some questions about the HOA. The HOA president just happened to be in the office. (whispers “Thank you, universe). From a somewhat brief discussion, he used numerous synonyms for being in power. I asked if I had to fill out paperwork if say I wanted to plant irises. The simple answer he gave was that I “needed to keep [my] neighbors happy”; and, that yes, I would need to fill out a form for such bulbs. Umm, NO. Just no. I want unkept Scotch brooms, elephant ears, and my whirligigs (my Halloween whirligigs that I keep out all year in my current privacy-fenced backyard). There was not a possibility of a privacy fence in the new neighborhood. While we were talking to the president, our realtor called. I took the call while having a panic attack. When my fella and I walked to the car, I burst into tears. There was no way I could live a life that was so constrained. Without a word, my fella called off the contract and we returned to our home search.

I mention this because at this point we had seen several homes that we could see ourselves buying. For one reason or another, something was tragically flawed (aluminum wiring, water damage, etc.). This was the first home that we loved where I cried because as my fella put it, I felt personally attacked. I would not have fit in with our neighbors just like an episode of The Munsters. I want more freedom in my home, not less.

When Bob talked about creating one’s own world. I can relate as I am sure many of you readers can as well. Every October when I sit down to watch Halloweentown, I wonder why the world cannot be more like this. Why do people only appreciate my attire in fall?  

It is so nice to be around other spooky souls because we can breathe and just be ourselves. We do not have to explain why we like what we like or justify our ghoulish interests. We are just trying to live our lives in a way that brings us joy.

When Bob says that we should create a world of our own, our dream reality. Mine will be made up of a spooky neighborhood where everyone has many, many whirligigs. A spooky breeze will develop and my heart will delight in the movement.

Book Review- Baby Teeth by Zoje Stage

Baby Teeth: A Novel (July 17, 2018) by Zoje Stage

Hardcover: 320 pages

Publisher: St. Martin's Press (July 17, 2018)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 1250170753

Entertainment Weekly writes that Baby Teeth was like “We Need to Talk About Kevin meets Gone Girl meets The Omen....” I’m still a bit haunted by We Need to Talk About Kevin so I hoped that I would like the book.

The book description:

Suzette is a devoted stay-at-home mother doing everything she can to connect with her seven-year-old daughter, who cannot—or will not—speak. But ever since Hanna was a baby, Suzette couldn’t help but feel despised by her. Manipulated. And scared to death.
Alex, Hanna’s father, wants to believe his wife’s accounts of Hanna’s cruel and unusual behavior. The only problem is that Alex has never really seen it, himself: Hanna shows him nothing but love. Which is driving Suzette literally crazy. Could it be that Hanna is just a typical, naughty girl—one whose everyday antics toward her mother point to intelligence, creativity, maybe even charm? Or is Hanna, as Suzette fears, actually trying to kill her?
A powerhouse, razor-sharp novel of psychological suspense from blazing new talent Zoje Stage, Baby Teeth raises more questions than it answers—and will leave you guessing until its shocking conclusion.

The story is told in alternating points of view between the mother, Suzette, and the daughter, Hanna. I did not really want to read a seven-year-old’s point of view at first but even this turned out to make the book creepy. At times this narration was a bit too omniscient for my taste but by the end of the story it worked.

Unlike We Need to Talk About Kevin that includes a much longer period of time with the *I’m-glad-he’s-not-my-kid* Kevin, Baby Teeth sticks to a much shorter time period.

What’s creepy: Hanna does not talk. Except, of course, when she conjures a French accent for her first (creepy) sentence to her mother. This very much reminded me of Richard Matheson’s “Drink My Red Blood” with young Jules who “never spoke a word until he was five. Then, one night coming to supper, he sat down at the table and said, ‘Death’.”  Hanna’s phrase is not explicitly problematic but I doubt it would sit well with any parent.

I liked that the narration lets us see how Suzette speculates about Hanna’s condition: is her daughter possessed? Is her daughter a psychopath? Is her daughter being molested by her father, whom Hanna adores?

There are specialists, counselors, special schools, and Suzette is more likeable than Eva (see, I keep going back to We Need to Talk About Kevin) but she is whiny.

Dad is in major denial but I doubt you will hate him for it.  He is also Swedish, which brings an interesting aspect to the book since some phrases are purely in Swedish with no translation. There is an emphasis on Swedish traditions. Further, there is a witch theme and they celebrate Walpurgisnacht, which surprised and delighted this reader.

In some ways, the book nods more to Paul Tremblay’s A Head Full of Ghosts, which to me is the ultimate compliment because that book was amazing.

I was not too surprised by the ending but I also liked it; and, if you know me, I cannot stand neatly *tied up with a happy bow* endings so be forewarned.

The first ten chapters are currently available on Amazon Kindle for free. Follow the link for access.

...Arbor Day at Hollywood Cemetery...

April 27, 2018 was the most perfect Arbor Day! The weather was amazing (finally!) and it was the perfect day to be in the cemetery.

Arborist Mike Van Yahres, who holds a Master’s Degree in Landscape Architecture from the University of Virginia and who has published numerous articles on tree management is the owner of Van Yahres Tree Company from Charlottesville, Virginia. In fact, he is the third generation of Van Yahres in the business. Throughout the morning, Mr. Van Yahres cited his grandfather’s advice as he gave a walking tour of some of Hollywood Cemetery’s most prized trees, including some of the Monarchs, trees that are considered outstanding examples of their species.

 

Although many visitors come to see the resting spots of presidents or have an interest in Civil War history, Hollywood contains some of the finest examples of native trees and historic roses in the Commonwealth. There are over 2,000 trees in the cemetery today, of which some predate the cemetery.

Trees are part of what makes Hollywood Cemetery so beautiful, especially this time of year with all the native ornamental trees being in bloom. Mr. Van Yahres is much more interested in Hardwoods, especially the White Oak, which is his favorite tree. Yet, when asked if he had a least favorite tree, he hesitated for a moment and was given suggestions by those on the tour.  

I learned about the tallest tree in the cemetery, a 142’ tall Bald Cypress that is in the “lake” area right down the hill from the bricked-in plot of the Harvie family.

I learned that Mr. Van Yahres’ favorite tree, “because of its shape and its size,” is the Black Gum, which is frequently considered Virginia’s most beautiful native tree. This one was included in Remarkable Trees of Virginia (2008). Mr. Van Yahres explained that Black Gums typically have a single stem so this one is atypical. I have to say that I love that his favorite tree is not one that seemingly follows the rules.

The largest tree in the cemetery is the Tulip Poplar located near the large obelisk for Dr. R.W. “John” Dove, who served as the Grand Secretary of the Grand Lodge of Virginia for over 30 years. It is common for Tulip Poplars to grow to great heights. While children have delighted in finding a secret passage to another world in the open trunk bottom, I always worried about this tree. I was thrilled to learn that it is common for mature Tulip Poplars to be hollow inside. Mr. Van Yahres stated that this tree was structurally sound and he would sleep under it.

Finally, Mr. Van Yahres discussed the new tree digitization program. To conclude the tour, a White Oak tree was planted in the cemetery.

This was an excellent opportunity to learn more about a place that I adore.

To learn more about Hollywood Cemetery’s trees, check out their Notable Trees & Roses guide.