...doing Christmas right this time...

'Cause it's r-s-v-p
No thanks, no party lights
It's Christmas Eve, gonna relax
Turned down all of my invites.

……

In a quiet way, unwind
Doing Christmas right this time.

The Waitresses’ “Christmas Wrapping” lyrics pretty much sets the tone for this Christmas.

Normally I would be getting dress to head to Mass with my dad but this year my new husband really wanted to have Christmas be about us. And, since he's been right on so many other suggestions, this will be the first Christmas where I haven't seen my folks on Christmas Day. Even when I lived 524 miles from them, I made it home for the holidays! I'm a believer in The Color Purple version of church and God so being a Catholic who has decided not to attend Mass this Christmas Eve isn’t a big deal to me. Being a daughter not attend Christmas Eve Mass with Dad is much more of a big deal… but then I think he understands.

 “...have you ever found God in church? I never did. I just found a bunch of folks hoping for him to show. Any God I ever felt in church I brought in with me. And I think all the other folks did too. They come to church to share God, not find God.”       ~Alice Walker, The Color Purple

We did our Christmasing with my fella's family on Monday and then our Christmasing with my folks yesterday. I have my own tradition of giving her a fruitcake which she loves. I’m usually not a fan until I discovered the Harry and David’s fruitcake confection. This year it completely slipped my mind and when I went to overnight one, they were sold out. Williamsburg, VA was the closest store so on Monday morning at 8am, I did a 40 minute drive there and then back just so that I would have the perfect fruitcake. Even when we don’t want the holidays to be hectic, we make them so just to meet the expectations that we set for ourselves sigh. She was happy so that was what mattered.

My mom is the best gift giver! She has always completely *gotten* me when it comes to little presents, and I have no idea where she finds the silliest things like bat glow-in-the-dark gloves and Skull soap-on-a-rope.

Christmasing for just us has meant Christmas cookies, wearing our Christmas pajamas, and spending time together. Yesterday I baked Pumpkin, Raisin and Ginger Cookies. They're not fancy but they're one of the best cookies I've ever made. Today we went out to support some of our local stores. He’s a gamer so we went into the local game shop. I bought supplies to make a Christmas spider. Tonight we’ll probably watch a Christmas movie and I’ll make a craft. Tomorrow we have a lobster dinner planned (since I’ve been a vegetarian since 1993 and just started eating seafood a few years ago). That’s really how we like to celebrate. Fancy plans are all around us but we’re feeling lucky to have found each other… and we’re just trying to do Christmas right for us this time.

... finding a Christmas spider, time to read and a return to "scary ghost stories and tales of the glories of Christmases long, long ago”...

Notice bottom right

First, I want to point out the amazing find at the Holladay House Bed & Breakfast. That’s right, y’all. It’s a Christmas spider! And, it’s a really awesome Christmas spider that was made by one of the owner’s relatives.

Yesterday was super relaxing. For about three hours, we sat in the common area in front of the fireplace reading while sipping tea and eating homemade cookies. I actually read four stories from The Big Book of Christmas Mysteries’ section ‘An Uncanny Little Christmas’. There were mysteries and ghosts and the stories really got me into the holiday spirit.   

My fella and I attended the Blue & Gray Christmas event in Gordonsville, VA this evening because it promised a walking tour, which although there were only three stops was quite interesting with National Parks Service rangers recounting pieces of history. More than that, I really wanted to sit in on the Christmas Ghost Stories that I hoped were not aimed at children… they were not! The stories were told by Michelle L. Hamilton, author of "I Would Still Be Drowned in Tears": Spiritualism in Abraham Lincoln's White House. She dressed in period clothing, and while we were all sitting in a dimly lit room the only thing that was missing was a fireplace… but then, this was all happening in the modern public library.

Yesterday’s leisurely reading and tonight’s storytelling have me reflecting about what I miss most about Christmas traditions of the past… The lost tradition of gathering around the fire on Christmas Eve to tell ghost stories is one of the best Victorian Christmas traditions, which apparently has been lost from our collective memory. The Victorian Christmas drew heavily on the traditions that preceded it but I’ll get to that in a minute.

There is a brief mention in the lyrics of Andy Williams’ classic “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year,” that acknowledges the tradition. “There’ll be scary ghost stories and tales of the glories of Christmases long, long ago.” And, of course, most all of you have either read or at least heard parts of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. Sorry kids. I’m an English professor so fessing up that you’ve only seen the movie does not count! Don’t you remember sitting around a campfire or in a circle at a slumber party reading or even making up ghost stories?!? That was the best!

Of course some of you may not even realize that this was a tradition. Don’t we tell ghost stories during Halloween? Well sure but why stop there! Arguably, Christmas Day has connections to festivals of Yule and Sol Invictus ("Unconquered Sun") who was the official sun god of the later Roman Empire and a patron of soldiers. These festivals commemorated Winter Solstice, the longest night of the year… death of light and its resurrection the next morning. Because of this, Winter Solstice was also considered to be one of the most haunted nights of the year with the divide between the worlds of the living and the dead being quite thin. In Dickens’ tale, Marley can walk the earth and finish some unsettled business. Dickens was clever but he didn’t make up this concept. The Victorians believed in spirits and Spiritualism. Hamilton’s book goes into detail about how this was handled even in the best known house in the country (The White House) and how even Lincoln himself may have been a believer.

Sadly, most of us just don’t gather around the hearth (shoot, some of us don’t even have real fireplaces. We just have the electric-fake-flame kind… which is still kind of cool) to tell or listen to such stories… but we could! This year I’ve asked my new husband if we could rekindle the lost tradition. We searched and will be listening to Neil Gaiman read A Christmas Carol just as Dickens read it. I invite you all to do the same even if we can’t be seated together.

... packing a velour robe and some holiday reading...

I’ve mentioned before that my fella and I do not give each other gifts for the holidays. We do, however, treat ourselves to evenings out and/or mini vacations. I’ve become a frequenter of Bed & Breakfasts because of him. Prior to us meeting, I would have never dreamed of staying in such a place because I believed that they were all filled with hideous floral wallpapers and fabrics, and included overly-friendly hosts. I mean, I love real flowers but anything that looks as though it has vomited flowers is a bit much… and I never trust anyone who smiles too often. 

I’ve learned that the more historic B&Bs actually have a more traditional-to-the-time aesthetic which makes me feel like I’m stepping back in history. But this really isn’t a post about the B&Bs… it’s about packing!

While I’m getting ready for our little What-Was-Supposed-To-Be-Our-Wedding event, I’ve started to think about packing. I have my book selection ready with The Big Book of Christmas Mysteries and my Kindle which is filled with a few historical pieces such as Winnie Davis:  Daughter of the Lost Cause by Heath Hardage Lee. But, what I’m really excited about is my new robe.

At home I’m never been the type of girl who lounges around in a robe. I wish! I’ve been more the old concert t-shirt (most likely with a hole because some are super old!) and shorts. Recently when I went to pick up some household supplies (read that as toilet paper :-/ ) in Target,  I walked by this most beautiful lush velour robe and HAD TO HAVE IT! I mean, it was $40. [ I just checked online and with today's Promo code of JOY30, you can purchase the robe for $27.99]

So now as I prepare for my mini-vacation, I plan to sit around in the B&B reading some Christmas mysteries while wearing this. I’m sure my fella will be happy that it isn’t my Jack hoodie or some old Bauhaus shirt.

... the legend of the Christmas spider and why I embrace it...

Old World Christmas

While I won’t even try to argue that my Christmas tree is in any way traditional, my choice in Christmas ornaments is probably more traditional that one would imagine.

This spider ornament is from Old World Christmas. My last name is Polish and it means “the child from the land of spiders”. Because of that and because I’m a gardener,  I feel I simply must embrace this legend from Germany.

from TheDustyRaven on Etsy

The Legend of the Christmas Spider

A folk legend from Germany

On Christmas Eve, a very long time ago, a gentle mother was busily cleaning the house for the most wonderful day of the year... Christmas day, the day on which the little Christ child would come to bless the house. Not a speck of dust was left. Even the spiders had been banished from their cozy corner on the ceiling to the farthest corners of the attic.

The Christmas tree was beautifully decorated. The poor spiders were frantic, for they could not see the tree, nor be present for the little Christ child's visit. Then the oldest and wisest spider suggested that perhaps they could wait until everyone went to bed and then get a closer look.

When the house was dark and silent, the spiders crept out of their hiding place. As they neared the Christmas tree, they were delighted by its beauty. The spiders crept all over the tree, up and down, over the branches and twigs and saw every single one of the pretty things. They, too, were in complete wonder of its beauty.

Terry's Village

The spiders so loved the Christmas tree that all night long they danced in the branches, leaving them covered with spider webs. In the morning, when the little Christ child came to bless the house, he was disheartened. He loved the little spiders for they were God's creatures, but he knew how hard the mother had worked to make sure that everything was perfect. He knew that she would not be pleased when she saw what the spiders had done.

With love in his heart and a smile on his face, the little Christ child reached out and gently touched the spider webs. Each started to sparkle and shine as they transformed into sparkling, shimmering silver and gold.

According to legend, ever since this happened, people have hung tinsel on their Christmas trees. It has also become a custom to include a spider among the decorations. 

Have you put up your tree? Are there any spider ornaments on it? 

Some of my favorite Christmas Spiders can be found on Etsy including these delicate spiders created from old transparent Christmas light bulbs and wire from thedustyraven. I love repurposed items.  I also found these Jingly-Jangly Spider Ornaments made from metallic-colored jingle bells from Terry’s Village. 

And of course for the craftier types, here are instructions to make your very own Christmas spiders.

What interesting holiday legends or traditions do you embrace?